My new favorite object is the lowly umbrella.
umbrella (n) 1. a device for protection from the weather consisting of a collapsible canopy mounted on a central rod 2. Anything that covers or protects.
I'm thinking about my trusty collapsible black umbrella that has literally traveled the world with me. It's an amazingly simple yet versatile object to own. It has kept me dry in the rain, cool in the sun.
I've owned other umbrellas. I had a large, golf size umbrella emblazoned with the NBC symbol that was given to me during the LA Olympics. It was particularly good at sheltering my new hydrangea from the sweltering rays of summer sun, and in keeping two people dry in a rainfall. It was used so much over the years that it literally rotted off its frame.
I had a colorful umbrella that made me smile despite the gray drizzle that surrounded me. It was too delicate for a real storm, however, and a strong wind turned it forever inside out.
When I was looking up umbrella in the dictionary, it had another definition that I had never heard before. But then again, I'm not a zoology major.
The contractile gelatinous, rounded mass constituting the major part of the body of most jellyfishes.
Thinking about it, I can totally visualize the upper part of the jellyfish body as an umbrella ~ a beautiful, ethereal umbrella that undulates most elegantly through the water.
I think it's cool to read the dictionary as there is so much to learn, even about words that seem so common to us. Does that make me a dweeb?
The cacophony of anger, mistrust, hatred, false accusations, lust, unfaithfulness, unbridled criminal activity, child abduction and other untold dark emotions and actions seem to fill up every square inch of the media ~ all media ~ these days. I try to steer away from that negative stuff but lately the noise has been deafening and unavoidable.
I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and saddened by the untold ways that people treat each other when I glanced in my bathroom. There, on the shower floor, was a rainbow. I smiled.
Never mind that we haven't had any rain for months. Never mind that it was a reflection from a beveled mirror. It was a gift. A visible reminder to me that despite all evidence to the contrary, God does care about us and is in control.
I (the Lord God) have set My rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth...
Whenever the rainbow appears...I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth. (Genesis 9:13, 16)
I urge you to click the Terrible and Beautiful blog on my the blog listing to the right of this post. Read the entry for 8/28/09. It's truth. It's terror. It's beauty. It's love.
I miss my son. He's back on the East Coast visiting relatives. He will return to LA where he lives. I can remember when I left home, I headed to LA, too. It put me 3,000 miles away from my family. I wasn't fleeing them, I was just spreading my wings. And now my son is testing his wings. While he's close in my heart, I miss my son.
Do you ever have expectations that get blown up into something waaaaay bigger than you could have imagined? That happened to me last night. I was sitting around the table with some of my favorite young women with whom I have had the pleasure of meeting weekly this summer. We shared food, Scripture and life, and it was heavenly. It was my prayer that each would be touched in some special way by God
Our summer time together ended with new jobs, engagements, being called to the mission field, and staying right here and blessing orphaned children. Some were hoped for, some expected and some completely unexpected. God is good.
I'm looking outside my kitchen sliding doors and the word that comes to mind is "harvest." The flowers are full and heavy on their stalks. The peppers and basil are abundantly ripe. The rose bush is bursting. Everything is waiting to be taken, shared, given freely. Their beauty takes my breath away but their giving nature brings me to tears.
At first I admonish myself for not giving as freely of myself but I decide instead to be humbly thankful to God and just receive the riches He prepares gladly for us.
You (Lord God) care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly...The grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness...The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing. (Psalm 65:9-13)
(photograph Paul Marshall)
The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. ~ Rabindranath Tagore
I'll admit it. I'm a huge fan of the actress, Meryl Streep. Sang with her last night on video in Mamma Mia. Watched her morph into Julia child at the movies last week in Julie and Julia. Fell apart when I saw her first big movie Sophie's Choice. Thought she was wickedly funny in The Devil Wears Prada. And the list goes on. She's an actress who loses herself in the part and who doesn't live for the adoration of fickle fans or the media. Hats off to you Ms. Streep. You make your chosen profession proud. But beyond that, you entertain me.
I was lounging on my favorite chair savoring a visual harvest of flowers in my back yard when it occurred to me that I have quite a collection of critters. I'd like to share them with you. They are made of glass, metal, wood and ceramic. Some are hiding and some are boldly in plain view. They each have their own story and they all make me smile.
Our pond animals (actually more like a deep puddle) are a parrot, frog and fish. They greet us with the first sun of each day. We have real fish in the pond but they are teeny tiny and look like miniature Buster Keatons as they scamper and scurry to hide under the lily pads when we stop by.
My husband's step-father made the parrot. He was an amazing man who helped engineer the California Aqueduct.
Our frog escaped from Sante Fe, New Mexico although I have a sneaking suspicion that he hitchhiked out of Mexico first.
Our fish was destined to be a candle holder but I saved him from that ignoble profession and restored him to his rightful place.
We also have quite a collection of cats.
Don't worry, the cat will never score. These two have been caught in a game of I-see-you-Oh-yeah-come-get-me for years but neither have made the first move.
I didn't realize my masked kitty had a missing ear until I took his picture. 
And oh my, is this a frown or what? I guess handmade ceramic kitty doesn't like to pose for pictures.
If you follow my blog at all, you know my fondness for birds so, of course, they are welcome in my back yard.
This colorful guy was a gift from my sister-in-law. Much to my chagrin, she was moving into a new house and I just had to have something from the old one which I coveted. This bird used to greet guests at the front door and now sits in a pot of flowers next to my lounge chair.
Nesting in my husband's favorite Japanese maple. It's a safe, cozy spot.
One of a pair of stained glass beauties that fly outside my bedroom window.
Oops, how did this live creature get in the photos? Hummingbirds and bees come visit us often.
And this is my favorite guy. Handmade in Mexico. His dragon ears are missing but he has a wonderfully long tail and is brilliantly painted. He ferociously stands guard at one end of a table on the deck but he doesn't fool anyone. We know he's just one of the gang.
Gosh, now maybe I should share the little people who hang out with us, too. But that's for another time.
What are the Groovies up to these days?
Too Familiar in the Wrong Place - Casey
It's really bad when I walk into our local emergency room and the staff not only knows me but wants to know where and how my mother is. Very early one morning this week I took my husband to the emergency room for what turned out to be a kidney stone. The admitting clerk looked at me, looked at my husband and asked, "Are you with him? Where's your mom?" Upon finding out we were there for him not her, the clerk responded, "Well, how is that sweet woman doing? We just love her." ~ Once in bed and ready to be checked out, the attending nurse looked at me and said, "Oh dear, which room is your mom in?" I replied, "None, I'm here for my husband." "Oh," she replied, "How is she doing?" ~ They know me way too well at the local emergency room! At least this time Mom remained home, sound asleep and safe in her bed.
Another Round of Back to School - Betty Boop, Ted, Jamie & Snow White
Some of the Groovies are experiencing the quintessential American cycle of summer winding down and a new school year starting as their kids go off to elementary, middle school and even college. One is even going back to work in a school district. It's the heralding of shorter and cooler days, turning leaves and the holidays. Yikes! Let's not kill summer so fast.
Changes - Ted, Kelly, Jamie, Betty Boop, Muffy
In no particular order ~ Driving a new, very cool car. Moving down the street to another house (not her idea however). Taking on new job responsibilities. Looking for meaning with all the free time she's acquired.
In the Middle of Things - Jamie, Casey, Muffy, Betty Boop, Cinderella, Peppermint, Snow White
Writing books and blogs. Preparing to enrich women's spiritual lives through Bible study. Continuing to build her business. Steady as she goes. Various health and relationship issues that pop up and down like a jack-in-the-box.
An Inspiration
Every one of these women is an inspiration to me. I watch them, sometimes from afar, and sometimes close up, and marvel at their strength and beauty. Our common thread is a love for Jesus and a desire to be all that we can for and through Him.
Sometimes a profound sense of sadness and even loneliness falls over me. I don't know if I'd call it depression because it rarely lasts more than a day or two. But whatever its name, the feeling is real.
It doesn't seem to be related to anything on the front burner of my mind. It seems to spring from nowhere, sometimes at the most surprising times. It seems to creep out from the further crevices of my brain where it has been brewing or hiding or doing whatever it does.
I felt it today. It felt totally out of place. I was taking a nice long walk in a visually stimulating yet peaceful area on an extremely beautiful morning. The breeze was gentle and refreshing. The air smelled dewy fresh. The flowers were clothed in harmonious colors. And from the deep recesses, a sadness came flowing out.
It wasn't overwhelming. In fact, in an existential sort of way, it actually heightened my senses to the beauty around me. I felt at one with, and separate from, everything at the same time. I had a very clear sense of "being" and of the sadness settling like a shawl around my shoulders.
I have no answers. It might be something that either stems from, or is outside of, my relationship with God. Maybe it has to do with the finiteness of my time and place. Perhaps it's a chink in my armor of hopeful expectations. I don't know.
It's beautiful enough in a very eerie sort of way that I am compelled to dwell in it, but uncomfortable enough that I actively find ways to step out of it. Maybe I need to face it.
Something truly amazing happens when we allow God to sit right down in the middle of our lives. He has faithfully drawn up that extra chair during my weekly Bible study this summer with 14 amazing young women. I've watched them grow and be challenged and bond in a sisterhood of Christ. It's a beautiful thing.
A connected life can be developed at any age. Current research reveals that people who live connected lives are not only happier and more joyful most of the time, they are also physically healthier and they live longer. Creating a connected life ~being a part of something positive, something larger than yourself ~ takes time, and it requires work to maintain it over a lifetime. (from Delivered from Distraction by Hallowell & Ratey)
We're coming out of Best Buy. Four young men in a car stop to ask us where they can buy music. We point behind us. They say that no, they want this kind of music. Crank up their radio. Jump out of their car. Start dancing like crazy fools along with every young person who happens to be in the immediate vicinity. We've been punked!
So I'm laughing, sitting on the wall to watch their crazy gyrations. It reminded me of the dance thing that was done for some soda company in a train station in some European country that I saw on YouTube.
The store manager was not very pleased. Came out wagging her finger and telling them to go away or else. My husband frowning saying their prank was a nuisance.
We thought something was up when the car first approached us, but we "bit," so what's not to laugh about and enjoy? I say keep laughing ~ it's good for the soul.
If you really keep the royal commandment found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right. (James 2:8)
Jesus came to break down walls between people ~ including ethnic, political, religious and social barriers.
Love my neighbor as I love myself. Have I narrowly defined "neighbor" so that I have fooled myself into thinking that I am living in love? Is there a group of people whom I have given myself permission to avoid, dislike or hate?
Lord God, search my heart. Cleanse me of hatred, dislike or self-righteousness that I may be harboring towards anyone or any group. Amen.
A simple yellow flower paired with the promise of an exquisite coral rose. Makes me smile ~ especially since the seeds came from my grandmother's beloved garden. She passed away over 30 years ago but her memory lives on in the beauty of a simple yellow flower.
Going to the birthday party tonight for a man I respect, admire and like. He's turning 60. I can't even begin to count the number of lives he has impacted over the span of his lifetime but I know that he is not yet done. It's going to be a blast celebrating his years. It's going to be a blast watching him continue to be about his Father's work.
Item in the yesterday's issue of The New York Times in the arts section ~
"It's not all that surprising that Yale University Press would be wary of reprinting notoriously controversial cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad in a forthcoming book. After all, when the 12 caricatures were first published by a Danish newspaper a few years ago and reprinted by other European publications, Muslims all over the world angrily protested, calling the images ... blasphemous...So Yale University Press consulted two dozen authorities, including diplomats and experts on Islam and counterterrorism...and the recommendation was unanimous ~ 'the book ...should not include the 12 Danish drawings.'"
My issue is not with Yale University deciding that free speech should be exercised under the guidelines of decency. Nor with the Muslims who sometimes violently protested, although violence gets everyone nowhere. No, my issue is with Christians who stand by silently while artists, Jesus-haters and others take blasphemous potshots at a most holy God and His Son.
Why don't we rise in outrage? We don't like the idea of God's name being taken off our U.S. currency or rubbed off the hallowed halls of our U.S. capital, but we say little to nothing about our God or His Son, Jesus Christ being defamed in artistic, political, social and even religious arenas.
You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain. (Deut. 5:11) They shall be holy to their God and not profane the name of their God.(Levit 21:6) Jesus of Nazareth...I know who You are ~ the Holy One of God! (Mark 1:24)
Noise. A cacophony of sound. Not birds but machines. That's what my neighborhood sounded like this morning. The one morning I decide to sleep in. Hah! The garage truck and the lawnmower at the park and other unnamed machines decided otherwise.
I had to laugh today when I realized that I'm back working in a warehouse ~ well, the office mezzanine but a warehouse nevertheless. This makes the fifth time that I'm back in this environment. What is it about warehouses? Maybe it's because they have all been related to retail and the offices have been located in some extra space in a warehouse.
Have you ever worked in a warehouse office? No windows. No natural light. Often dusty. At least the one I am in now has a huge skylight over the mezzanine and everyone who works there follows Christ.
I guess it's a great work environment after all!
I do deep water aerobics twice a week at our local pool. Doing jumping jacks, karate kicks and sit-ups with buoyancy ankle cuffs to keep us from sinking is tougher than it sounds. We may not be athletes but water is forgiving and to the casual bystander we look like a synchronized water ballet team. All but one of us, that is.
This woman recently joined us and I have to tell you ~ I wouldn't want to see what she looks like exercising on land! I don't know how anyone manages to look like a klutz in the water but she does. She wrestles her way through each exercise and makes it look very, very hard. I probably looked like her in the beginning but over time, I've eased into the routine and have managed to smooth out my lines.
It's sort of like my swim with God. When I first dipped my toe into the waters of faith, I was tossed by the waves of uncertainty.
(she) who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:6 NIV)
While my desire was to know and love the Lord, my heart was still attached to the strings of man's way of doing things. I wrestled this way and that trying to swim in His waters with an ankle weight instead of buoyancy cuffs. It wasn't a pretty sight. Ironically, it wasn't until I learned to anchor myself on His Truth that I was able to swim in synchronicity with His perfect will for me.
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. (Hebrews 6:19 NIV)
I'd love to be able to say that I qualify for the Olympics team, but that would be disingenuous. Each day is a new day, and each day I must put on my buoyancy cuffs and tether myself anew to God's Word.
He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is He...His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. (Deut. 32:4 and 2 Samuel 22:31 NIV)
Went to a good old fashioned ice cream social with Mom. It was held at Ravenswood Winery. She loves this stuff. A beautiful setting. An old home with antiques to explore and a family history to hear. Hot dogs with mustard and relish to eat, ice tea to drink and ice cream to cool us down. A community band playing in the shade of the big trees. Kids running on the lawn. A petting zoo and a pony to ride. But best of all lots of people to watch.
Sure, the heat was oppressive. The band mediocre. The hot dogs mini. And the ice cream melted. But Mom never notices. She's too busy enjoying her fanciful day the way she envisions it should be and doesn't let the reality of things push away her childlike joy.
That's probably why at 93 she still views the world with rose-colored glasses. It's a real shock when the color wears off, but she always gets them re-tinted with a fresh coat of pink and goes on her merry way!
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news brings health to the bones. (Proverbs 15:30)
My pastor at his son's wedding. Just keeping it real. Gotta love him!
tree saga part 3 continues
This is the source of life-giving water. My husband is installing a new sprinkler system in our front yard. What you see are the original pipes that have been capped off. With our dry summers, automatic sprinklers are a must. Without them our plants suffer under our sometimes oppressive heat.
All carbon-based life needs water. Our need for water, however, goes beyond the H2O kind.
The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. (Isaiah 58:11)
tree saga part 3 continuedThis is the majestic Liquid Amber that was planted when the housing development was built 35 years ago. If you have been following my blog you know that the unfortunate tree was planted in the wrong size front yard and eventually had to be taken out due to root damage inflicted on surrounding areas. It was a sad, sad day when men came to take it down. That mighty tree provided shade and beauty, and a home for assorted birds and other critters.
It reminded me of Shel Silverstein's book, The Giving Tree. With all due respect to the author, I'd like to quote a few lines here ~
Once there was a tree and she loved a little boy.
And every day the boy would come and he would gather her leaves and make them into crowns and play king of the forest.
He would climb up her trunk and swing from her branches and eat apples...
And when he was tired, he would sleep in her shade.
And the boy loved the tree.
And the tree was happy.
The story goes on to tell how the tree willingly gave to the boy throughout the boy's entire life until at the end of the story, all that is left is an old man and a stump of a tree
"I'm sorry, Boy," said the tree, "but I have nothing left to give you ~
My apples are gone...my branches are gone...my trunk is gone.
I'm sorry," sighed the tree.
"I wish that I could give you something but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump."
"I don't need very much now," said the boy, "just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired."
"Well," said the tree..."an old stump is good for sitting and resting.
Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."
And the boy did.
And the tree was happy.
That story just knocks me out. It's really about unconditional love. I thought about how much our Liquid Amber had given us unconditionally over the past 15 years.
And now we have planted an appropriately-sized Chinese Pistache to take its place. It will take time before the young trunk grows tall and strong, and the limbs flesh out to provide shade ~ but I did see a tiny finch rest on one of its branches shortly after it was planted. I think it's destined to be a new giving tree after all.
The future. That's what many of the yearbook entries referred to. Our future. Life after high school. The real world. Unlimited and in many cases, unimagined possibilities.
One girl wrote to me, "I know you'll get to Mexico with the exchange student program." Well, I was a finalist but not speaking Spanish kind of hurt my chances. I finally did get to Mexico, many, many years later.
"I just know that you and Gordie will end up together because you make such a cute couple." Well, "cute" just wasn't good enough. I did end up with a great guy but it wasn't Gordie.
"You will succeed at whatever you do." No,not true. I failed at my first marriage. Got "downsized" when a company filed Chapter 11. And the list goes on. I must admit, however, that successes outweigh the failures ~ but it was the failures that really challenged me and grew my character.
"You will run an indoor ski lodge in Alaska." That was my senior class prophecy. I think it's because I started the ski club and we had some very cool ski trips. I did get to Alaska. I have done innumerable ski trips. But running a lodge did not pan out, nor was it ever in my dreams.
But then cleaning the bathroom was never in my dreams either, and right now, it's calling my name. So for now, my immediate future holds a sparkling, fresh bathroom once I've done the grunge work. Hey, is that a metaphor for life?
You may be getting tired of my walk down memory lane, but I'm just getting wound up! Seriously, it's like I've rediscovered a part of my life that has long been forgotten ~ or at least shelved in one of my brain closets. Today I've been thinking about the people I admired.
It was really shocking to go through the teachers' photos and realize they weren't as old and ancient as we thought they were. No, most of them were probably in their 30's and 40's with a handful in their 20's. Photos don't lie. Miss Zembek, our P.E. teacher was as young and hot as we thought she was. So was math teacher, Mr. Simonson. Mr. Wells still looks like Hemmingway, which was perfect since he taught English. And Mr. Burns, my AP Biology teacher still has the look of a guy who really cared about his students.
As I look through their photos, it strikes me how much an adult can impact a young person's life without even realizing it. Yikes, I feel eyes falling on me. Does my life speak well?
Day three of my musings on reuniting with the past. Today it's the stuff we write in each other's yearbooks. I'm sure a lot of it was totally sincere at the time, but in looking back it all seems so, well, corny and even trivial. But no way was it corny and trivial back then. Those words were intended to keep us bonded for life.
"We will always be friends." "I will never forget the time we..." "You and your (insert boyfriend or girlfriend's name) make the best couple ever forever." "You were the sister I never had and nothing can separate us even though we are going away to colleges on the opposite side of the country." "It's been really great knowing you." "Best wishes to one of the sweetest girls I know." "To a real nice girl"
Screeeeeeeeeech! (like a needle across a vinyl record) "sweet" "nice" "great personality" No! No! No! I didn't want to be remembered for being sweet and nice. I wanted to be remembered for being popular and pretty. Funny how my perspective has changed as I've "matured."
Here are some actual quotes written in my yearbook ~
"Best wishes to a real sweet person. Remember 2nd period English. I will always remember the back of your head and those red hairs on my notebook." (I think that was a backhanded compliment from a guy.)
"To a real nut from biology class." (Again from a guy--another backhanded compliment?)
"You always made Diane and me sick because you weren't part of the girdle crowd." (The spanx of our day, and, no, neither of them needed it. Guess girls have always been and will always be obssessed with body image.)
"To Miss Vitamin C. You're a look like an orange because you both have a peel - get it? orange peel, appeal" (Yes, another guy, and yes, I'm rolling my eyes along with you.)
"Best of luck to a real flamboyant dame" (I think that's a good thing from a guy)
"Scientist. Folk singer. Cheerleader. Fly counter. Bog slusher. Cake maker. Skier. Friend and wonderful person." (My personal favorite entry because each word brings back wonderful memories with one of my favorite people on earth. It's a shame we've lost touch.)
So now that I'm beginning to reconnect with fellow high school alumni through Facebook, I have been pouring over my yearbook reliving people and events from the past. One of the most repeated lines written to me by friends is ~ "don't ever forget ..." Sadly, I have forgotten most of what they admonished me not to forget. I wish they had been more specific. It would help trigger memories.
And after not even thinking about some of these people in a gazillion years, I actually had dreams about a few of the "boys" last night. Oh yeah, I finally got to first base with some of the hot guys who thought of me as their "friend" in high school when I certainly wanted to be more than that.
What is it with high school? Why does that short span of time continue to evoke both positive and negative emotions after all these years?
I was befriended today on Facebook by a fellow high school alumni. I honestly have not done a particularly good job keeping up with high school friends. Once I left New York and moved to California, I took the once-a-year trip home to see my family and do some sightseeing. I did attend the 10-year reunion and that was enough for me. It's not that I didn't have good friends in high school, but I moved on and life changed.
So here they are again, coming out of the woodwork and reentering my life. I had to drag out my yearbook and wham!!! ~ it was like yesterday! I traveled through a time machine back to faces I'd forgotten. We were soooooooo cool back then. How could I look at those photos now and think we were sooooooooo dorky? It's positively trippy.
I needed some lighthearted news. Thanks, new Facebook friend.
