Mid-Life Crisis, Part 2

I'm a child of God. Check.
I'm saved to eternal life through Christ. Check.
I'm a princess, a spotless bride. Check.
LIfe on earth is transitory. Choke.
I will be forgotten in a few short generations. Choke.
Why does this matter to me in light of whom I am in Christ?

And that's the heart of my mid-life crisis. It's not just adventure and unrestricted use of time that I'm seeking. I want to be remembered! I don't want to be forgotten! Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

Vanity of vanities, all is vanity. What profit has a (wo)man from all (her) labor?...One generation passes away, and another generation comes...That which has been is what will be, that which is done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun...There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come by those who will come after. (Ecc 1:1-11)

While cleaning the bathroom may have propelled my emotions into mid-life crisis, words and pictures preceded my outburst. I have been looking at all the photographs taken over the years and thinking it's time to get them in order with names and dates so future generations will know their heritage. I have been reading my words thinking I should print and bind them so future generations will know who I am.

All is vanity.

I hope that I will live on in future generations through the people I touch right now in my life. Not just family members but even strangers. That gives me comfort. But then it pains me to know that my desire to be known is my pride. Everyone journeys but a short time on this earth and just a small few stick in the history books and family pages.

I think about my brother throwing away almost all our family photo albums and 16mm movies of our childhood. His job was to clean out my parents' house and that he did with no discretion. It all got given away or thrown away. Had I known I would have banned him from the house. It never occurred to me that he would do such a thing. But my brother is a practical fellow. Lives in the moment except when it comes to restoring old cars (kinda funny actually). I felt as if he had thrown away part of my life.

That's not true, really, because I am the sum total of my days. But who in the future will know me then, back when I was young, without proof of my existence? We all want to know that we mattered.

And that's where I come full circle. I am a child of God. I am the spotless bride of Christ. My future is eternity with the living God. That is my value, my life's meaning, my heritage, my past and my future. I matter to the only One who matters.