Advanced Placement Studies

Once a month, we Groovies get together with our husbands for a night of marriage building. We share a meal, catch up on our lives and try to learn something about having a groovy marriage. Our most recent topic is changing anger into intimacy ~ reaching past all the irritants big and small, and forging a deeper relationship.

One of our groovy husbands had a chance to practice last weekend, and well, let's just say he rewrote the chapter so it was more relevant for his actual experience! Although he disavowed any authorship, he did give me permission to post his own five step program to intimacy.

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"Okay, I have tried the following five step program (to crafting a perfect apology from the Anger to Intimacy DVD) and it didn’t lead to INTIMACY!!

1. Put some thought into it.
2. Focus on feelings and not on issues.
3. Become a great wordsmith (I am sorry for _____, I know it made you feel ____)
4. Less is more. (don't get historical).
5. If possible, apologize in person.

So I have developed a new five step program for husbands:

1. Don’t think about it! Bottom line is even if you are right you are wrong, so the more you think about it the more upset you will be – SO DON’T THINK!!
2. Remember you don’t have feelings and the issue is YOU ARE WRONG – SO DON’T FEEL ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE FACT YOU ARE WRONG!! Just ask her she will tell you just how wrong you are!
3. You have only about one tenth the words she has so use them wisely! Drink 10 red bulls and when she falls asleep and you finally start to talk, start crying because she fell asleep on YOU!! Be patient it might take a few days ~ after all you were WRONG! And she has more words!
4. This one is easy! Less is all we have! If we talk we will run out of words so shut up, sit there and remember YOU ARE WRONG!
5. If you apologize in person, tell her you need thirty minutes to repent – go drink your red bulls, even pour some in your eyes, it burns and she will think you have been crying! This way you can save your words for when she falls asleep! Not to mention the crying speaks louder than you words so you can save them!

This is stuff you just can't get in any book! Have a great marriage builders and see you soon!"

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I don't you about you, but I think this groovy husband just might be onto something.