Marriage Gratitude

I have had the privilege of forming friendships with several young women who are newlyweds.  Some I have known before they got engaged and have followed their journey to matrimony; others I met after they had tied the knot.  I get great pleasure from hearing their great delight over something their husband does now that later in their marriage will seem mundane and even expected ~ things like putting chains on the car during a snowstorm while she stays warm and dry in the car,  writing her love notes just because, cleaning her car both inside and out while she is on a weekend getaway with her girlfriends, cooking dinner because she's had a rough day at work or telling her she's beautiful when she's not feeling beautiful.

That's not to say that they don't have a grumble or two about their husbands.  These wives acknowledge that marriage is both harder and sweeter than expected.  But they are still in the honeymoon phase.  They have barely started living together.  Life may have already thrown them a few challenges in their young lives, but the real challenges lie ahead. They are embarking on a journey together that will challenge their very concept of what marriage is,  what their role is within that union, and how to balance individual wants versus the needs of a couple.  It will be one of the most exciting, rewarding and difficult journeys of their lives.

Looking at marriage from my perspective, I wish that I had been better equipped to choose a mate and navigate the waters.  It never occurred to me that I needed more than love and physical attraction.  We could work out everything together.  It never occurred to me for even a single moment that I would be divorced and on my second marriage before I got it.

And what did I get?  I got that I chose with half-opened eyes the first time around and that we didn't have the wherewithal to face life's challenges when the big ones came along years after the honeymoon glow wore off.  Instead of forming a circle together, we retreated to our own corners to deal with adversity.  It tore us apart.  Yet I can honestly say I am grateful for that marriage because it produced my son.

 I have in my second marriage what every young woman dreams of.  We are in love with our eyes open.  We are walking life together through its ups and downs, and are a better couple because of it.  We are putting our marriage and each other before our own wants, not at the sacrifice of who we are but simply because it makes us better people and better spouses.

I no longer feel the newlywed giddiness.  I still have the love and physical attraction, but I  have something so much more and for that I am grateful.  And what is the secret to our marital bliss?  We have placed Christ squarely in the center of our union and live to honor Him.  In doing so, we are blessed many times over and are laughing out loud over our good fortune in the second half of our lives.