I had a discussion last night that made me stop and think about the difference between boundaries and barriers. (I must confess that I chose specific dictionary definitions to illustrate my thoughts because the words boundary and barrier do share some similar definitions and can be interchangeable.)
boundary ~ something that indicates a border or limit
barrier ~ anything that separates or holds apart
Our discussion was about honest conversations. You know, the kind that occur when we take down our barriers or walls and get real with each other.
honest ~ genuine, not characterized by deception
real ~ true and actual; not illusory or fictitious
Honest conversations can only take place in an atmosphere where everyone feels safe enough for the barriers to come down. Anyone who spills his or her guts to a perfect stranger or casual acquaintance is either speaking to a therapist or has no healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are proactive borders. Boundaries keep us safe in a healthy way. Boundaries both help define who we are and keep us from spilling out so that we have no defined sense of who we are. Boundaries allow us to live freely.
Barriers are the walls we put up when we fear or worry. Barriers keep us from participating in life. Barriers keep out both the good and the bad. Barriers isolate us. Barriers keep us from living freely.
End of class. Thanks for attending :)
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