My Year of Saying "No"

I love the two weeks between December 25th and January 7th. There is something pure, fresh and invigorating about this time.  Of course, it's filled with big events like Christmas, my birthday and New Year's, but it's not just the celebrations.  There is a peace, an after-glow, in the air.  The hustle and bustle of preparing for the holidays is over and there is a stillness combined with anticipation of the new ~ a new year, a new beginning.  It's a time for reflection, a time for planning.  A time of no expectations and no deadlines.  I really savor these two weeks every year.

While I like to reflect on the past year and think about the year ahead, I am not one to make New Year's resolutions.  Having said that, last January as I was contemplating the possibilities of the coming days, I was given the word "no."  My first reaction was what do you mean "no?"  I'm a "do"-er, a "be"-er, a "go"-er.  I seriously could not imagine why the word "no" popped into my thoughts.  But I have been on a journey of trying to listen to God, to know how to best live my life for Him and in Him ~ and He very clearly gave me the word "no" ~ to slow down, to not engage in every interesting or worthwhile thing that came my way, to contemplate, to choose carefully.  He gave me the word "no" so that in my quiet, I could hear the "yes" He would whisper in my ear.

I am preparing you for what is on the road ahead, just around the bend.  Take time to be still in My presence so that I can strengthen you.  (from Jesus Calling, Sarah Young, 12/127 entry)

Looking at every major event that I experienced in 2010, I realize now that they all required some sort of sacrifice of self, myself.  They all required a rethinking of my time, my space, my efforts, my focus. I'm a person of movement, of action, only this past year I was allowing my movement and actions to be guided by God.

I knew when God gave me "no" that my year would be eventful.  I knew He wasn't planning a year of R&R, bonbons and spa days.  Living by His "no" was a bit scary, a bit intimidating, a bit curious, and ultimately, a lot exciting.  What would I have to say "no" to?  Why would I have to say "no?"  And what, if anything, was going to take its place?

...no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him.  (Isaiah 64:4)

Saying "no" wasn't easy.  I gave up saying "yes" to things that sounded interesting, challenging or just plain fun.  The one time I said "yes" just because I wanted to, and thought that God would bless it because it was a good thing, I struggled.  But as the year progressed and I slowed down, sought out God's "yes" and really listened, I was blessed over and over by honoring His "yes."  I didn't do it perfectly, it wasn't always easy, I played the martyr role more than once or twice, and I even had a crisis of faith at one point, but it was a fabulous journey.

2010 was my year of saying "no" so I could be quiet and hear the quiet "yes" that God would whisper in my ear.  I wonder what my word for 2011 will be.....